imagine you are walking into an interview. As you sit down and get those “Hellos” and “How are yous” out of the way, it’s time for those lovely get-to-know-you questions we all love. Tell me about yourself, what are your hobbies, how is your work ethic, etc. They just go on and on. The question where we all probably waver is, “What is your biggest strength and your greatest weakness?”
At first, I like to think about what I am good at. I am a great listener, trustworthy, and caring. When I think about these qualities and more, one characteristic seems to encompass all of those: loyalty. Loyalty is trusting those close to you when times get tough. Listening and being there no matter what for those you care about. I always stand by my commitments and the decisions I make toward others. This is one quality I take pride in myself. But that doesn’t mean it can’t come back and bite me.
A part of that loyalty loves to give the benefit of the doubt. I put so much trust in my peers, mentors, family, and friends. I trust their best judgment even when maybe it may not be their best. In times of disagreement, No matter who either party is, there are always two sides to a narrative. There is what one perceives and what the other person sees. I try my best to understand the other side of the story and validate how another could be feeling. And this is what gets me.
Since I give it my all to understand the logic of another person, I love to hand out excuses and try to reason with others who might not understand. If you are not careful, this can turn into blind loyalty. I always want to see the good in others. I want to trust that people have my best intentions at heart, but the reality is you are the only one that you can trust.
Recently I got out of a situation that I thought was serving me. I was working with people I truly cared about and stayed out of love for them. But when I would get burned by whatever negative circumstance happened, I constantly repeated the excuses that were given to me, hoping things would get better. I saw the potential and greatness of what I was doing. But the repeated letdowns and empty promises started to outweigh the good.
I started to see physical responses to what was happening. I started falling out of love with what I was doing and experienced burnout. It was hard to get out of bed in the morning. I was constantly exhausted and emotional just about every day. My body was telling me I was done. I finally decided it was time to move on.
Even though I left for my betterment, a piece of my heart was still there. My loyalty stayed with those people. I continued to have connections and volunteered my time if they needed extra help because I still cared. I was still considered a part of the team even after taking my leave. It made me happy that all the loyalty I showed during my time there was still being considered after I left. But don’t expect that the same loyalty given will be received.
Loyalty often gives out. And it has nothing to do with you. People will forget all the times you have given your loyalty only to remember what you did on paper. We all continue to grow, and people will decide to do so without you. They may even do things that surprise you. But as long as you stay true to yourself and own who you are, people will truly see your heart.
So shifting back to that interview face-to-face with a complete stranger, my answer to that burning get-to-know-you question: My greatest strength is loyalty, and I am proud of that. That part of me has given me a lot of the best things in my life. But my loyalty is also my greatest weakness. It holds me back from making the decisions I need to make for a better tomorrow.
Think about your strengths and weaknesses. Can they be combined? We can be our best selves and our worst enemy but learning how to balance the two is when we live the life meant for us.
A New Tomorrow 